There are few important enduring choices in life. I had established my own life, I chose a healthy relationship of balanced, complimentary equals when I chose my wife after. After we established our lives together, we chose to create life together.
At a base level, I was entrusted by my child with the sacred honor of caring for her before she can do so. And, I will step aside as my duty of care charges. Yet, I mated for life. While my writings here will have a fathering bent, the duties of a husband must be balanced as well. The relationship with my wife must be nurtured and maintained throughout the raising of my daughter; that relationship is strengthen and built while we raised our daughter and not something that is put on hold for two decades.
Each action in a relationship is a separate, conscious choice that builds on and reinforces the previous choice or further erodes the relationship. It’s the everyday, seemingly ordinary choices that build or crumble a relationship. This is not intellectually difficult to grasp but can be hard to do everyday. Choose wisely, intentionally and be present. It does not mean you are always right–a healthy relationship is not a power struggle where one dominates or superimposes their will over another. Sometimes, it means admitting you do not know (but want to learn with them). In the end, a relationship grows best when those involved grow together. That brings a very simple question: do each and the sum of my choices today build or undermine the relationships with my wife and daughter? Are they grounded, intentional and from a place of honest love? Each choice is a new choice and a new start in a long journey. Our choices help determine the closeness and quality of that journey.